Are you pregnant? Here are 5 relatively simple tips to help you get the most out of your maternity appointments. And remember- if something comes up in an appointment that you want to discuss or refelct on with an independent birthworker, a doula power hour
1. Continuity of carer, or seeing the same midwife for every appointment.
There is loads of evidence that shows that being seen by a midwife you know and trust, who gets to know you too, leads to better outcomes. Not all NHS Trusts offer this service, or it may take a few attempts to figure out how to access in your Trust, but it is worth pursuing.
If you want to have your care in a continuity model, but aren't sure where to start, speak to your midwife, drop me a message or reach out to a local doula. Birthworkers are often aware of continuity teams that are available but not widely signposted to.
2. Prepare questions.
In your NHS notes there will be an outline of what should be covered in each appointment. Have a look in advance and write down any questions you may have or make note of anything you don't understand.
This is also a good time to take stock and reflect on where you are at with your pregnancy and birth plans. How are you feeling? How do you want to feel? What are the steps you need to take to get you closer to the outcome you hope for?
3. Bring your birth partner.
You are a team! It can be really helpful to have someone who knows you there. They can advocate for you if you need, write notes, ask questions or simply give you space to focus on talking to your care providers. They will take on a role like this for your birth, so it's a great way to practise too!
Many mothers and birthing people find it really helpful to be able to reflect on their appointments with their birth partner afterwards. If your partner joining you isn't possible, you are entitled to record the appointment. You don't have to ask permission, you can simply say "I'm going to record this appointment so that I can reflect on the information you share later".
4. Ask why, and for the evidence.
Your antenatal appointments are a great place to get curious. It's really good to get in the habit of asking questions, exploring what you are being offered and why.
Aspects of maternity care can feel procedural. Health care providers are under increasing pressure, struggling to provide the level of care their patients deserve. That said, your informed consent matters. Practice curiousity and you'll be more likely to feel informed and confident in your choices.
5. Remember your right to decline.
All of the care that you are offered is exactly that, an offer. If you don't want to accept any aspect of it, for any reason, you don't have to. Don't lose sight of that.
If there's something planned for that appointment that you know you don't want to accept (e.g. being weighed, discussion of sweeps or other forms of induction, a test), it may be helpful to open the conversation with that, so you can go through the rest of the appointment without it on your mind.
If you are aware that you may struggle to assert yourself, it can help to practice your birth partner or a friend. "Hello, I'm J, here are my notes. Before we get started, I'm going to decline (being weighed) today. Thank you".
Remember, "NO" is a complete sentence.
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